What's Yaoi?
by ImmortalRoseOfTheThorns
Summary: a yaoi book...an innocent anuki...a stupid captain...three giggling women...a perverted cook...an irate swordsman...a terrified sharpshooter...OF COURSE ITS ONE PIECE!


**Perverted Soul. A Yaoi Manga. A terrified Chopper. A giggling Nami and Robin. A Confused Luffy. A Pissed Off Zoro. A Screaming Usopp. A Sulking Sanji. A normal day for the Mugiwara Pirates!**

**Contains talk of Yaoi, seme and ukes, themes of an adult nature, and lots and lots of screaming!**

**(I honestly had no idea where this came from. im a yaoi fan girl and Soul shares this with me and I wanted to write something for One Piece so here you go. DONT JUDGE ME!!!)**

**What's Yaoi?**

Soul giggled softly. She was hiding in the crow's nest of the Going Merry, reading on of the very few things that had joined her when she had entered this world.

A Yaoi manga, given to her by her friend Rossi, an early seventeenth birthday present. Soul giggled, going bright red and hid her face behind it.

"Soul?"

"Soul-chwan? The food made from my love is ready!!"

_"Gomenasai...we cant do this..."_

_"Nune?"_

_"You ask too much of me, Sawyer-sensei"_

_"Seiji-kun..."_

_Seiji turned his head away from his lover, his white bangs flicking into his eyes. Sawyer closed his eyes, burying his face into his lover's shoulder. He breathed slowly, against his taut back, knowing it would make him come undone. He heard a soft moan, and he licked all the way up his spine, tantalizing touches that left Seiji trembling._

_Seiji tipped his head back, letting it rest on Sawyer's shoulder. Sawyer nipped at his neck, leaving marks and gentle love bites. Seiji grabbed his head, holding him closer, and moaning in his ear. Sawyer spun him round, so he rested on his lap. _

"OI, SOUL!"

_Sawyer dipped his head, and began to lick Seiji's muscular chest, smirking as he heard the boy whimper and mewl. He stroked his hand down Seiji's body. Closer…closer…He moved him backwards, laying his naked body upon the soft wooden floor, his hand just-_

"SOUL!" Soul squealed and jumped, and turned almost breathing fire to glare at Zoro. The swordsman glared at her from his spot on the edge of the crow's nest.

"You're holding dinner up so…" he blinked. "Why do you have tissues up your nose? Did…. did you have a nosebleed?" he glanced towards the book she was reading, and on the front cover saw two men, glad only in boxers, and hugging passionately. Zoro's brow began to twitch, and Soul pulled the tissues out of her nose. "You…you pervert" he muttered, before Soul pounced.

The first mate had barely enough time to prepare himself before the scythe user tackled him, causing both to fall from the mast. Zoro fell painfully with a grunt, Soul on top of him, and she began to bang his head against the wood.

"YOU BAKA MARIMO! I JUST GOT TO THE GOOD BIT AND YOU AHD TO RUIN IT! SAWYER WAS JUST ABOUT TO HAVE HIS WAY WITH SEIJI-!!!"

"YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE ERO-COOK, YOU PERVERTED LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL!!"

"GAH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU UNTIL YOU'RE THE DEADEST PERSON IN DEADONIA!!!!"

"Eh? Nunda?" Soul and Zoro both froze, Soul glancing down at Zoro with a slight frown. _Wait…_

The two blade masters looked around to see the small form of their Devil Fruit doctor. Chopper had picked up the book and blinking at the pages. He turned the next, the one Soul was about to read, and stared his eyes wide at the page.

"Eh…Nune? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAGH!"

"Chopper, calm down!" Soul said, climbing off the swordsman, and trying to calm the tonakai, but he merely threw the book into the air, as if it burned him, and began to run around the deck screaming.

"NUNE?! NUNE? NUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!" he cried, tears pouring down his face. "I'M SO CONFUSED!!"

"See?!" Zoro yelled at me, finally standing up. "Your perverted little book has screwed with Chopper's mind!"

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with my book! Trust me! It's the best!"

"Oi, Chopper! You ok?!" Soul scowled as Luffy trotted over, rubbing his chin. "Is he ok?"

"Noth-"

"Soul is reading a perverted book, and Chopper saw it!" Zoro muttered, crossing his arms. Soul twitched and boxed him on the side of his head, a lump immediately appearing. Luffy blinked.

"Perverted book? What kind?"

"Yaoi" Soul drooled, but she scowled harder as the rest of the crew came onto the deck. Nami picked up the open book and looked at it, Robin looking over her shoulder. The navigator and archaeologist blinked before Robin began to chuckle, and Nami giggled uncontrollably, hiding her face with her free hand.

"See?" Soul said, pointing to the giggling women and smirking at Zoro. "They like it!"

Usopp snatched the book from the women and opened it, Sanji looking over his own shoulder. Usopp like Chopper began to scream.

"PERVERTS!" he proclaimed, pointing the three now giggling women.

Sanji however began to sulk, kneeling on the floor, banging his fist on the deck, a dark cloud hovering over him.

"Soul-chwan, Nami-swan and Robin-chwan love the book…they like men and men…dammit" Soul sweatdropped

"What's…Yaoi?" Luffy said reading the blurb. Soul blinked at him, baffled.

"You don't know what yaoi is? Oh my god!" she cried, and Luffy merely shrugged. "Its boys and boys in relationships having lots and lots of sexy sex. It's the hottest thing ever"

Usopp and Chopper both screamed even louder if possible. "Yeah" Soul continued, seeing a perfect opportunity to mess with her crewmates. "There's a seme, which would be the guy of the relationship. More manly, and stronger, possibly larger, if you get my drift" the screaming meant yes. "And they would be people like, Draco, Naruto, Renji…etcetera. And the uke would be the woman if so called. They would be on the bottom-"

"WE KNOW WE KNOW. PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYMORE!!" the doctor and sharpshooter cried, both almost in tears.

"Oh, ok" Soul picked up the crumpled book from the floor, and opened it once more to the right page. With a sigh, she began to follow Nami and Robin who were both still giggling back to the kitchen.

"You know? I thin Zoro would make a good seme, and Sanji would be a very good uke-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Soul screamed and ran as an irate swordsman charged after her, complete with bandana and all three katana unsheathed.

Sanji did not take part, as he seemed to be dead on the floor from Soul's last comment. Chopper and Usopp finally gathered their senses and began to tremble and walk towards the kitchen but Usopp was stopped by Luffy. The captain stood there frowning and rubbing his chin, confused.

"What's sex?"

**HB; Ah, Luffy always stupid.**

**REVIEW TELLS ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THE PERVERTEDNESS!**


End file.
